After sooo long..
You still dont understand me at all.
This year..
i dont know how many times you broke my heart and hurt me.
Scold me like a DOG!
Treat me like a DOG!
Do anyone actually understands how i feel??
HELPLESS!
Sooner or later, i'll suffer from mental breakdown.
I wanted to have a normal life.
The WHOLE family eating dinner everyday.
The WHOLE family sitting down watching tv.
Why is this so difficult?!!
A question "Hows your school?" or "How's your day?", so difficult to speak out?
The first time i learn Biology, not a big deal for you.
But it is to me! I LEARNT SOOOOOO HARD!
The first time i actually got nervous when im doing the paper.
The first time i felt like hitting myself on the table when i forgot the answer.
I SERIOUSLY PUT A LOT OF EFFORT! I TRIED MY BEST!
AND I SCORED HIGHER THAN I EXPECTED!
I wanted to share this news with you. And what did i get?
A look down and sarcastic insult! Ha!
Do you have any idea how it is like having blocked nose every now and then.
Your condition changes with the surrounding.
When you are in the air-conditioned room, you sneezed because it's cold.
When you are outside, you sneezed because of sudden change of temperature and dust.
MY AUNT KNOWS ABOUT MY SITUATION.
SHE IS EVEN WORRIED ABOUT ME.
She is even worried when i took this course.
As i will contact with chemicals and perfume smelling.
She's afraid that my nose couldn't take it.
Do you even care about it?
Having blocked nose for a day is already unbearable.
Imagine having it everyday for a month.
And you dint notice it at all.
You dint even bother to ask me to see doctor when you saw me sneezing like hell!
Night time is sleeping time for almost everyone.
But i spent my night time sneezing.
I am so tired but yet i cant sleep.
Sleeping late is just trivial stuff.
But waking up early when you sleep late...argh!!
Reason of waking up early is not because you set the alarm clock.
Is because blocked nose attack!
Try breathing using your mouth the whole day.
You will feel like dying!
Basically, im doing that for ... no idea~
Im having sleep deprive.
I cant even wake up when my alarm rang!
Tell me my condition is not that bad!
IM ANGRY AT YOU.
Every time, people will just tell me that you had a bad day.
Or you've met some problem at work.
I understand that. But you never tell me before.
If you dont tell, how am i going to know.
But you cant always yell at me every time you reach home.
You are not the only one who has problem outside.
You always say that schooling is not a big problem and stressing as working.
Yes, your work is life and death.
My school work are just minor stuff.
But how come people jump off the building because they are stressful.
Have you ever thought im that stressful too.
Not just with the work from school, and pressure from you.
Everyday i face you, i predicted the outcome to be the same.
And im right!
You'll yell at me. Not a single day will you let yourself and me off.
But still..
I love you.
Compared with others, i think im luck.
At least im wealthy. Wealthy with friend's concern.
But deprive of family love.
Im just not as strong and independent as you think.
Dont tell me " Dont learn bad " when you are the one pushing me to the edge.
In the past, i am dying to go home after school.
Now...
i wish to stay out as long as possible.
The only similarity is that im always alone at home.
So.. are you going to throw me out when im "bad" in your way?
You claimed that i dont study.
I dint study in front of you, doesnt mean i dont study!
I dint work hard in front of you, doesnt mean i NEVER work hard before.
